I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize