My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize