I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
