well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
