just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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