This is not my ceiling
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
