Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
