I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
