R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
