walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
