Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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