The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
