Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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