This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
