was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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