Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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