i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
