She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
