I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
