i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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