Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
