found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
