there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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