she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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