i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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