Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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