That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize