suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
