Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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