dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
