Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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