Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize