My underwear smells like fireworks.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize