Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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