Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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