I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
