awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
