apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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