Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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