Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
