He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
