Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it glows. i had to have it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
