But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
