The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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