To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
