she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
