drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
