i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize