I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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