dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
