i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
