You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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