he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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