i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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