Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize