last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
