just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
