I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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