if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
