Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
